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Song Details
Rank this week: 21 (↑34)
Duration: 2:12 
Release Date: 1976 
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Song Lyrics:
Hi friends, this is Harv Kirshner (BANG). Owner and president of Harv Kirshner Happy-Face Motors where the freeways meet in Hooperville. (BANG) Friends, I'm here to tell you right now there is NOOO energy crisis here at Harv Kirshner's. (BANG) That's right, these little beauties your resting your retinas on right now got five hundred and twenty-two cubic inches of energy. (BANG) And they're using every bit of it right now to say to you "Come on down." (BANG) "Take me home." (BANG) "And feed me!" (BANG) "FEED ME!!" (BANG) Now what this energy thing comes down to in a nutshell, friends. (BANG) Is you gonna let some penny-waste enviromentalist, (BANG) some chucklehead beauracrat take away your God-given right to drive one of these gas-guzzling mothers on Sunday?(BANG) Are you going to let some Arab hold a gun to your back and keep you from buying one of these gas-swelling sweethearts? (BANG) Sure it drinks gas. (BANG) You bet it drinks gas, partner and that's why the Good Lord put gasoline on this God's green earth. (BANG) So you can drive straight through to Kettleman City in your eight cylinder custom van conversion without stopping. (BANG) Friends, you look right here at the sticker price. Look at this sticker price on the window of this car! (GLASS BREAKING) (BANG) That's what we think of the sticker price at Harv Kirshner's, friends it's your choice! (BANG) This car made in America by bronzed American working men in Pittsburg? (BANG) Or some Jap kiddie car you need a shoehorn to get into? (BANG) You look at this car, friends... Brand new. (BANG...BANG...BANG) There it is! It's got a dent in it, friends! Now you come on down and take it away! (BANG) We'll take anything as a down payment. (BANG) Empty pop bottles! (BANG) Food stamps! (BANG) Welfare checks! (BANG) Have you had credit trouble in the past? (BANG) Are you in debt? (BANG) Out of work? (BANG) A shut in? (BANG) A problem drinker? (BANG) Friends, are you legally dead? (BANG) I DON'T CARE!! Look... There's my credit manager. Look here Bobo Deluxe. (BOBO: Hiya Harv!) He's trying to give these cars away. Let me show you what we think of the credit manager here at Harv Kirshner's Happy-Face Motors. (SMACK!..POW!.. oogfhh!.. uggh!) (BANG) Now, you! You, buddy you come here! Gimme that wallet! (MAN: Hey!... What?) Come here! Now, look... You get in to that car right here! Gimme that wallet! (throws man car keys) Get in there! Now go on! Get in that car! (BANG) There it is, friends. Right there, look at him! Look at that smile on his face. (BANG) Another satisfied customer, friends. (car turning over...) (BANG) If you don't come here right now, television friends... (BANG) I'm going to back this late model American station wagon over my dog, Spot! (BANG) (car starts... engine revs up) Harv Kirshner's Happy-Face Motors where the freeways meet in Hooperville. (BANG) Friends, remember... I'll sit on your face to make you a better deal! (BANG) Thank you!! (BANG)
(Customer drives off: "What a great deal!")
(davidlougy)
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Current Rating 9.9 (3 votes)
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