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Song Details
Duration: 3:27 
Release Date: 1992  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By:
Music By:
Produced By:
Released By: Ouch! Records (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
Licensing:
Keywords: CHRISTMAS, GUNS, JEWISH, MAGNUM P I, SANTA, UNDERWEAR 
Reviews:
Facts:
  • The Fools are a Boston band, so politics likely affect the nature of this song. Your editor is also a resident of Massachusetts, so it's obvious to me that fear of what can only be described as 'ethnic retribution' is likely what's behind the nature of this song, which is about an old Jewish man who shoots Santa. The musical style, the (crappy) Yiddish dialect, all of it shout 'Jewish', but the lyrics can't actually say so in this bluest of blue states.

    Realistically, in 1992, it probably wouldn't have made a difference if Hanukkah or Jewishness in general had been mentioned outright in the lyrics, especially considering the sort of content on the rest of their "Christmas Toons" album, but it's the fact that the subject was only insinuated that's telling of the power that a political extreme can have when it's in complete control of a region. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    You could say that I should have known better
    But looking back, it's easy to point blame
    And I don't look like a genius in this story
    But I'll tell you the story just the same

    I was upstairs watching Magnum on the TV
    I had a cheese sandwich in my lap
    When I heard somebody walking downstairs in the parlor
    I said to myself "What's this crap!?"

    I went downstairs to see what was the matter
    A 38 revolver in my hand
    And as I reached the bottom step, I saw him
    A fat little roly poly man

    I yelled out "Hey! What gives?", and then he saw me
    I thought he swung his bag up at my head
    And just like Magnum P.I. on the TV
    I pulled my gun and shot that sucker dead

    CHORUS
    I shot Santa in my underwear
    What he was doing there I'll never never know
    I shot Santa in my underwear
    Right there beneath the roof and mistletoe
    He could of been a prowler; he could have been a thief
    How was I to know he'd dress up like a big red geek?
    I shot Santa in my underwear
    Now Christmas time will never be the same

    He went down like a sack of old potatoes
    He hit the floor; I felt the whole house shake
    I came up close to get a better look
    And that's when I realized my mistake

    I said, "Hey! You're that Santa fellow!"
    He nodded once like he was glad I knew
    And then he pulled me close to hear his last words
    He said, "Now it's all up to you"

    I said, "Me? What do I know from Christmas?"
    But it was too late; he had passed away
    So now I'm cold and hanging out with reindeers
    A skinny little old man and a sleigh

    CHORUS X 2
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 10.0 (4 votes)
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